Results – MCW: September to Remember – 9/18/10

The Rev reviews MCW: September to Remember II on September 18, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

Greetings one and all — no, you aren’t seeing things, it’s me, your friendly neighbor Reverend Rogue Six, temporarily on leave from medical treatments and here with your “September to Remember” wrap-up!

This night will be one for the history books, and if you weren’t there, well, I’m sad for you, because you missed a landmark night in MCW’s history…the final match of “The Rainbow Warrior” Justin Diaz’s career.

Big Hurt defeated Nikki Skidz (who’s looking more like Johnny Napalm from the GUITAR HERO video games) in the opening match after an inverted suplex. Nikki put up as best an offense as he could, but it simply wasn’t enough; he seemed to have spent more time on his back then the staff of the Bunny Ranch, but I really have to give credit where it’s due — damn if he didn’t keep on fighting Hurt till the end.

So, for you, Nikki, I award you my Tom Petty “I Won’t Back Down” Award. No matter the match, you simply keep on fighting, and I can respect that.

Mike Hercum, MCW’s Elite Champion, sauntered out to the ring; evidently he had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about. But the crowd, in its infinite wisdom, didn’t seem all that interested; no sooner did he get near the ring then the traditional “SHUT THE F–K UP” chant started. I’ve got to be honest, I really couldn’t make out what Hercum had to say over the crowd’s chants and boos, so it probably wasn’t all that important. (Just as well, I wasn’t really all that interested either…)

Wilbur Whitlock defeated newcomer Bill Martel in a well-paced, straight-on match. Both started off with an excellent bout of chain wrestling, testing each other out, then the pace picked up. Martel made what I’d call one rookie mistake when he went to the top turnbuckle — but telegraphed the move enough that when he came off for a flying elbow, he ended up eating Wilbur’s boot instead! Wilbur went for the Whitlock Cutter once, but Martel had the presence of mind to block it and power out, but Wilbur went for the cutter a second time and nailed him with it for the pinfall. No sooner had Wilbur’s hand been raised by the ref then out to the ring came — Big Hurt? WTH? He proceeded to attack both Martel and Wilbur, and then left the ring, still yelling and arguing with the crowd like he did in his own match. I’m not al that sure just what his fragging problem is, but I think if Big Hurt would concentrate as much on wrestling as he does yelling at people in the crowd, who knows where he’d be?

Commissioner Shasta came out to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. He started off by saying that he was quite happy with the turnout, and that he had a little business to take care up, business concerning both Supa Lucha and Krazy, who he called to the ring. He apologized to both of them, saying that while he thought they needed to turn things up a notch, two weeks ago, they both “damn near killed each other” and that the two of them “rocked the place”.

Before Shasta could say much more, out to the ring came Chris Kole and Shane Sensation — a.k.a. the tag team Killer Sensation — who somehow seemed to have felt the need to ruin the mood. Shane took the mic and began talking smack about Krazy and Lucha.

I’d like to tell you what Shane said, but I swear to you — he ranted so fast that I couldn’t make out a single word; it was nothing but a stream of garble. Shasta seemed to share my opinion, and said so: “Damn, Shane, all these folks heard you say was ‘blah, blah, blah’…”

Chris Kole took the mic and asked Shasta, “Who was it that originally tore this house down?” Shasta’s answer — “Shasta…and Brain Damage! We just used your bodies to do it with!” Then he had a idea. “Since you’re here, and the two of them are here –” he turned to Lucha and Krazy, “You two fought each other two weeks ago, why don’t you two fight them?”

Shane and Chris seemed to want no part of this, and started to walk away — but not before Lucha and Krazy had ascended the turnbuckles and took to the air! The fight was on!

Killer Sensation worked Lucha over for a good deal of the match, not only keeping him grounded but away from Krazy. The strategy didn’t last long, as Krazy got a hot tag and went after both men with a vengeance. Lucha came back in, and went for the Burrito Driver — but the damage had been done, and he couldn’t pull it off. Shane hit a top rope splash for the win. (Personally, I’m looking forward to a Killer Sensation/Mentally Unstable match somewhere in the future…now that would be a party…)

The war between Allison Kay and Jessicka Havok continued tonight in a 2 out of 3 falls/No DQ/Falls Count Anywhere match that saw Jessicka ambush Allison before either of them got in the ring! Jessicka kept up a steady stream of offense, but out of nowhere, Allison hit a Killswitch and scored the first fall!

Jessicka was a little slow to rise and move, but within what seemed a matter of seconds, she hit Allison with an STO and scored the second fall! I have to say, I’ve seen plenty of 2/3 Falls matches, but in all my time, I’ve never — and I mean NEVER — seen the first two falls scored that bloody fast!

The action went out of the ring, where Allison missed with a handful of powder, Jessicka worked Allison over with a belt (and then Allison returned the favor), Allison whipped Jessicka into a cement wall and a pole, and then bulldogged her on the ring steps (yeah, there’s Excedrin headache #175) before the match got back in the ring.

Despite all that, Jessicka managed to catch Allison in a textbook crippler crossface for the tapout — and final fall — to win the match!

And here’s where it got ugly.

Allison went out of the ring and got a chair, snuck back in the ring, and blasted Jessicka in the back with it.

Then she trapped Jessicka’s arm in it and proceeded to come off the ropes onto the chair not once or twice — but FOUR TIMES. Jessicka’s screams told the story.

Shasta and the security staff came to her aid and got her to the back.

This might have been the last time we’ll see Allison Kay in an MCW ring. Then again, when Jessicka heals up, who knows? Someone’s going to be looking for some payback…

Lusicious Larry Lavender faced off against MCW Elite Champion Mike Hercum in a championship title match that saw the champion have a bit of a rough time dealing with his challenger at the start. Hercum managed to slow Larry down with a crotch shot on the turn post and even getting him in a Steiner Recliner, but when Larry managed to get loose a second time and Hercum went to jump on his back, Larry turned over — and Hercum got a knee to the groin instead!

Mike went for the sharpshooter, only to have Larry roll him up in a small package that he kicked out of. Then Mike tried the sharpshooter once again — Larry rolled him up again, but this time went a little farther with the roll. . .and WE NOW HAVE A NEW MCW ELITE CHAMPION: “LUSCIOUS” LARRY LAVENDER!

Eric Ryan faced off with the MCW Heavyweight Champion, Christian “Don’t Call Me Goku” Vaughn in a match that started off with Minka Murder coming to the ring to announce Goku’s — I mean, Vaughn’s — arrival (I’m not saying Minka’s voice is high-pitched, but one of the lenses in my glasses slightly cracked when she spoke…). And then out came the champ — whose hair looked like it was sprayed with Viagra.

Eric went on the attack early and pretty much gave Vaughn all he could handle throughout the match — even hitting what I’m going to call the Move of the Night: a running Death Valley Driver into the ringpost!

Just as things looked good for the challenger, Minka distracted the ref while Vaughn got the belt and missed Eric’s head with it. Eric seized the opening and DDT’d the champ on the belt! Of course, the ref picked that moment to turn around and see that — and not make the count.

Eric went up to the top turnbuckle — but he either tripped or Minka knocked him off-balance (thanks to the guy who walked in front of me at that precise moment, I couldn’t tell!), giving Vaughn the opening to set him for a piledriver and the win.

Things slowed down for a few moments while the ring was prepared for the Main Event — a XXXTREME rules Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match between Jebediah and Justin Diaz. (Talk about picking a match to go out on…) Jebediah and Dr. Dale Pierce came out first, then as “It’s Raining Men” began to play, the entire house came to their feet as Dick Jeremy led Justin Diaz, resplendent in his pink-n-black robe, to the ring.

You may have watched TLC matches on WWE pay-per-views or DVDs, but believe me when I tell you, it’s nothing compared to witnessing one as it happens. The chairs and ladders came into play early, and got used in many innovative ways. Then came the chant of “WE WANT TABLES” from the crowd, and in came the tables.

Jebediah was the first to start bleeding, and I have to say, I was waiting for Dick Jeremy to pass out from hyperventilating. . .

The end looked imminent when Diaz and Jeremy brought a second table in the ring (Diaz had gone through the first one), then Diaz set up a ladder and laid a semi-conscious Jebediah on it. Justin climbed the ladder, and signaled for an elbow drop. Jebediah, in the meantime, got off the table and climbed up the other side of the ladder; the two began trading blows until Diaz slammed Jebediah’s head on the ladder top and hit what I’m calling the “OH MY GOD” Move of the Night — a sunset-flip power bomb off the ladder and through the table!

It was hard to tell who’d gotten the worst of that move — but Jebediah had enough left in him to get up and hit a Haybaler on Diaz for the win!

Now, normally, this would be the end of the show, and I’d be signing off. But like I said in the beginning, this was a historical night, and there was something special planned for the finale…

As the wreckage was being cleared, the entire locker room came to the ring as the crowd (myself included) came to their feet in a standing ovation.

Shasta took the mic: “Normally I scream and yell for you all to get off your asses and cheer, but tonight I’m going to ask you to — Justin Diaz has been a part of MCW for 10 years, so put your hands together for him!” A “THANK YOU DIAZ” chant went up.

Shasta present Diaz with 2 gifts — one was an autographed picture of him in the early days, signed by every fan they could get, while the second gift was a commemorative plaque with the autographs of every MCW wrestler.

The Big-Ass Screen lit up with a video message from Shasta that contained well-wishes from Toby Klein and Brain Damage (who couldn’t be there due to scheduling commitments), and a message from Shasta himself: “No matter what, you’ll always be MCW”.

“It’s Raining Men” began to play, and a montage of Diaz’s matches ran on the screen. When this was over, a final message of THANK YOU DIAZ came up on the screen.

I’ve tried to capture the feeling of the evening, but even I can only do so much. This was one of those nights that you truly had to be there to appreciate the level of emotion that was running in the Wrestleplex.

On a final note, let me say this to Justin Diaz: You took a chance on an unknown rogue like me, and gave me a break into writing for professional wrestling. You didn’t know me from Adam, and yet you gave me space on MCW’s forum to entertain everyone, as well as chronicle the shows in my own way. For this, you have my everlasting respect and my thanks. Good luck.

And that’s the Gospel, according to the Reverend Rogue Six.

Stay extreme, my friends!

The Rev Interviews MCW’s Sassy Stephie

After having the opportunity to meet Sassy Stephie at a past show, I asked if she’d consider doing an interview with me – and she agreed.

To get to know her a little better — and in doing so, let you all get to know her a bit more, I went with “20 Questions” for the format, and here’s what came of it all.

RR6: To start things off, where are you from?
SS: Akron, Ohio.

RR6: What drew you to the world of professional wrestling?
SS: Sensation Sherri, mostly.

RR6: Who were your favorite wrestlers when you first got interested in wrestling?
SS: Shawn Michaels was probably my first ever favorite wrestler. But I loved Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Macho Man, & Mr. Perfect among others as a kid.

RR6: In whose promotion did you get your initial training?
SS: OCW – Ohio Championship Wrestling

RR6: You stated in your online profile for G.L.O.R.Y that your style was, as you put it, “A mixed bag of wrestling styles”. Do you still use the “mixed bag” approach, or have you chosen a specific style?
SS: I’m still a mixed bag, I can come at you with different types.

RR6: Always good to keep ’em guessing. Now, who was your debut match with — and how did it go?
SS: It was at OCW Ladies Night I, against Lexi Lane. My nerves got the best of me, and Lexi pulled out the victory.

RR6: Besides the NEPW and WASP Women’s titles, what other titles have you held?
SS: PWR Tag Team champion and PWR Ladies Champion.

RR6: Out of the matches that you’ve been in, what match do you look at as your greatest ever — and on the flip side, what match do you look at and say “Oh my God, I can’t believe I agreed to that!”
SS: My greatest match ever….probably my match at Shimmer against Madison Eagle. She’s amazing…and I felt that was — to date — my best match. As for my “Oh my God” match, I cant believe I agreed to have a last woman standing match with Angel Dust.

RR6: Speaking of Angel Dust, you’ve listed such names as Angel’s, Ashley Lane, and Nevaeh as some of your most-hated enemies; would there be any other names that you’ve added to the list?
SS: Jessicka Havok!

RR6: (slapping myself in the back of the head) Doom on me, I should have figured that one. . .Tell me, in what other promotions have you wrestled for?
SS: It’s hard to name or remember them all, but I’ll try…OCW, Firestorm Pro, Shimmer, PWR, Mad-Mar, IWC, WSU, JAPW, CAPW, CWF, PGWA, Chikara, Ring of Honor, IPW, HWA, NWA Upstate, NWA Underground, XICW, and I’m sure I’m missing others.

RR6: If you could have your dream match to wrestle, what would it be?
SS: As of right now…. probably Beth Phoenix. I’d also like to have rematches with Sara Del Rey and Daizee Haze, cause I’ve learned so much since my last matches with them…and I think I’d fair a lot better this time around.

RR6: You mentioned your early wrestling influences, so who would you say are your biggest influences nowSS: Now… Allison Danger is a constant influence in and out of the ring.

RR6: Who do you enjoy watching now in the ring?
SS: For some reason I’m really enjoying the cocky heels on TV: Maryse, Miz, Zack Ryder, Madison Rayne, Jericho…

RR6: Are there any promotions you’d like to wrestle for?
SS: Absolutely. WWE and TNA being the top 2.

RR6: What’s the farthest you’ve ever traveled for a show?
SS: As of right now…about 8 hours to Nashville. But I’m going to England in the fall.

RR6: You’re lucky — I’d love to make that trip myself. On the subject of travel, about how often are you on the road?
SS: Every weekend.

RR6: Is there anything special that you do to prepare for a match — and then, to unwind afterwards?
SS: I always try to pray before my matches. I feel more comfortable with what I am preparing to do in the ring if I pray before my match. Afterwards…a good shower is always nice.

RR6: Prayer — I like that! So, outside of the ring, what’s the best fan encounter you’ve ever had — and what was the strangest (or worst)?
SS: Being recognized as “Sassy Stephie” at Wal-Mart was kind of strange, but cool at the same time. I haven’t had anything out of the ordinary happen when it comes to fans…no one has cried or stalked me…The best, I guess, would be for my birthday this year I wrestled about 6 hours away from home and several people brought me presents, it was very sweet! I loved it.

RR6: Just out of curiosity, do you happen to have any comments or thoughts regarding your recent XXXEXTREME tag team match against Jessicka Havok and Angel Dust?
SS: Jessicka and Angel are tough. I have to say that I took a good ass beating at their hands…but with that said, I would have beat them if I had a better partner.

RR6: And the final question — what is there about you that would the fans be surprised to know about you?
SS: I work two jobs Monday-Friday. I collect rubber ducks. I’m a huge Twilight and Harry Potter fan! By huge…I mean it borders on obsession.

RR6: I’m a Potter fan myself — Twilight, not so much. Stephie, I’d like to thank you for granting me this interview, and I must say that I enjoyed getting to learn a little more about you.

Results – MCW: Red, White, & Bruised II – 7/17/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Red, White, & Bruised II on July 17, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

Once more, as sure as the weather’s hotter then the outskirts of Hell, it is I, your friendly neighborhood Reverend Rogue Six, with your “Red, White, & Bruised II” post-show review. . .

Justin Diaz (with Dick Jeremy) opened the evening by defeating Tex Tootin’ of the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos — with a very disturbing assist from the Blonde Wonder himself, Dick Jeremy.

The match started off with Tex taking control, but not for very long. Justin gained control of the match, and at the expense of ol’ Tex’s dignity (I’ve never seen anyone use the Macarena to break a hold before, but there’s a first time for everything. . .]. A couple of times, Tex bailed out of the ring to seek help from his brother Rex — but since they’re both masked. . .there could still have been something hinky going on, and I’m still damned if I can prove it. Diaz nailed Tex with a rather impressive Codebreaker, which left the Texan in the one corner — and open prey for a patented Justin Diaz Bronco Buster! As Diaz was hanging for the required eight seconds, brother Rex attempted to get in the ring. . .only to have Dick momentarily block his path by — oh god, it’s still disturbing even now — flashing him! One double-underhook bulldog later, and the Buckaroos’ winning streak was stopped at one!

Just as Diaz and Jeremy were celebrating their win, the twisted strains of Isaac Alter’s music played. Out came none other than Mordecai, Bible in hand. Just as he took the house mic, a hearty round of “SHUT THE FUCK UP” chants started; this made it a bit hard to catch what he had to say (not that I care, but I try to get as much detail as I can). I did hear him say something about the partnership of Diaz and Jeremy being “an abomination”, and that Diaz needed to “get down on [his] knees and pray for salvation.” As soon as I heard the words “down on [his] knees’, I thought “this isn’t going to end well. . .for Mordecai.” Diaz started to kneel — then stopped and took the mic from Mordecai. “Justin Diaz never gets down in his knees. . .unless Dick Jeremy’s around. . .” (or words to that effect] and with that said, he delivered a swift bulldog to the dark priest and rolled him out of the ring.

Apparently Diaz had something else on his mind: “I’ve had a lot of fun all these years in the ring, but those years are catching up with me . . .and on September 18th, I will wrestle my final match. But until then. . .” he sent Jeremy back to the locker room, “I’m going to have some fun. . .some of you may remember how I began. . .” Jeremy quickly returned to the ring, with a feather boa in hand — a boa that he handed to Diaz, “I used to be known as ‘The Rainbow Warrior’. . .well, until my final night, The Rainbow Warrior is back!” His old entrance theme, “It’s Raining Men”, began to play as the duo headed back to the locker room.

For this opening match, I’m awarding Dick Jeremy the Rodney Carrington “Show Them To Me” Award for his actions. (And if you know the song, you know why I chose this one).

MCW Heavyweight Champion Christian Vaughn (who looked more like the character of Goku from the DragonBall Z series, so that’s what I’ll be referring to him as from now on), along with assists from his loyal minion Big Hurt and Minka Murder, defeated Super Lucha in what could best be called a 3-on-1 handicap match. Lucha tried to keep an eye out for ambushes, but in a situation like this, you can only do so much before the numbers get to you. Goku and company seemed to rely more on distracting the referee and interfering then actually wrestling, while Lucha fought an incredible fight with such moves as a swing around the ringpost into a hurricanrana on Goku, an off-the-top-rope diving DDT, and a split-legged moonsault that Rob Van Dam would have approved of. But when the ref was distracted, it was all Goku’s night as he finished Lucha with a belly-to-back superplex and his trademark piledriver for the win.

As Goku and Hurt administered a post-match attack on Lucha, out from the back like a bullet came Luscious Larry Lavender, who slid into the ring and laid into Big Hurt with a flurry of punches! A new ref came in behind him, called for the bell, and the next match — a Falls Count Anywhere match — was on!

I’m not even going to try to detail this match for you, folks, because not only did it go everywhere in the Wrestleplex (and I do mean EVERYWHERE — even the restroom area and the concession stand), there was little finesse or science to it; it was simply sheer, unadulterated violence and mayhem. Chairs were used (and even broken — yes, we learned that steel chairs can break!), poles, doors, a shopping cart (don’t ask me where it came from, but they found one), and even the building itself came into play. In the end (and I’d really like to tell you how, but even from my vantage point, I couldn’t see how), Luscious Larry Lavender put an end to the feud by pinning Big Hurt!

To Luscious Larry Lavender, I’m awarding the Rev’s Tommy Dreamer “Hardcore Icon” medal. Breaking a steel chair — I don’t impress easily, but you have to admit, that in itself was DAMN impressive.

Jamie Starr and Matt Mason — known as The Hi-Def Super Novas (dear Lord, what the hell manner of name is THAT?) — made their MCW debut by facing my favorite tag team, Mentally Unstable. Now, I must admit that I was a bit impressed at first by the HDSN entrance style. . .a little flashy for my tastes, and Jesse Ventura needs to check his supply of boas, I think some of them were missing. . .and I was starting to like them — until they started talking. And thus ended my approval. Out came Krazy and Toby Klein, and the match was on! Just as things were going well for the Mentally Unstable team, I saw Toby glance at ringside and his look went dark; sitting at ringside were Dr. Dale Pierce and Jebediah — who had been suspended by Commissioner Shasta! I’m not sure if they were working with the HDSN, but their presence seemed to throw Toby off his game; when I saw Toby say “WHERE IS SHE?”, I remembered not seeing his fiancee in the crowd. . . Oh, this was going south faster then a bad bottle of tequila, which didn’t bode well for Krazy, who was getting worked over by the Novas, who ended up winning the match.

After the match, a fight broke out between Toby, Jebediah, and Dr. Dale; this brought out Shasta, who didn’t looked amused.

“You two jackasses know you’re suspended, yet you sneak in here. . .no one knows where Mr. Insanity’s girl is, but I know you’re involved. . .Jebediah, you and Toby have damn killed each other over the last few months, so we’re gonna end this once and for all — on July 31st, MCW XXXTreme’s coming back to Massillon . . .it’s going to be Jebediah and ‘Mr. Insanity’ Toby Klein in an ‘I QUIT’ match!”

And here I thought the Dog Collar match was bad. . .

Allison Kay scored an upset win in a No-DQ match over Jessicka Havok, who hit the ring with a full head of steam to start it off. Allison not only had a chair with Jessicka’s picture on it, she had a couple of packets of powder hidden somewhere — and used them both to gain the win! While she fought a good match, I have to say that Ms. Havoc made two tactical mistakes; not only did her anger cost her any focus, she underestimated her opponent. (You’ll get her next time, Jessicka, no worries.)

During the course of the show, raffle tickets were available for a chance to be one of the five fans involved in the night’s Main Event — a Lumberjack Strap match between Mike Hercum and Wilbur Whitlock for the MCW Elite Championship. 3 guys and 2 girls were the winners, and I couldn’t help but note that one of the girls seemed a little too excited about being able to use a strap on someone. . .maybe I was wrong. . .

A few minutes later, the locker room emptied out with MCW lumberjacks all armed with belts, joining the 5 fans. (At this point, I left my usual vantage point to get a better view) The lumberjacks were primed to use their straps, and they seemed to look like piranhas waiting for a side of beef. . .

Wilbur came out to the ring, a smile on his face (and I don’t think it was because he was happy to be there, it was a smile that said “Oh the things I’m gonna do tonight. . .”). This was a man ready for a war. Mike Hercum came out next, his cockiness not as pronounced as usual. At the bell, the match started, and the lumberjacks closed in.

(One note: there was a rule made for the lumberjacks — the straps could be used only when one man’s feet were BOTH on the floor.)

Hercum was the first out on the floor, only he had the presence of mind to bail out in friendly territory. The second time he went out, not so lucky — and he tasted the straps!

Wilbur got it next, then it began to alternate between the two – although it seemed Hercum got it a little harder then Wilbur did. . .

There was even a mishap in the lumberjacks, as it looked like Big Hurt clipped Goku with a belt!

In a moment of confusion, Big Hurt decided to change the rules; he got a chair, got up into the ring, and blasted Wilbur with it!

Hercum saw the unconscious Wilbur, set up the Sharpshooter, and to the ref (who I had a short come-to-Jesus chat with after the match), it appeared that Wilbur had passed out — from the submission hold (despite the fact that there was a chair in the ring — HELLO?) and awarded the match to Mike Hercum!

My opinion of what happened matched that of the crowd — WTH?

I talked to Referee Dave Rogers after the match, and this was his statement:

“Rev, all I saw was that Hercum had Wilbur in the submission hold, and Wilbur wasn’t responding to me. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, I had to award the match to Mike Hercum. Yes, there was a chair in the ring, but I didn’t see anyone use it. And I can’t go on what I hear, I have to go with what I see. I’m sorry, it sucks sometimes, but that’s the way it is.”

I checked the MCW rulebook myself, and damn if he wasn’t right. Crap. Ah well. . .Wilbur, if I was you, I know who I’d be going after next. . .

Until next time, I am the Reverend Rogue Six, and in the words of The Most Interesting Man in the World (an old drinking buddy of mine), “I normally don’t watch wrestling, but when I do, I prefer MCW — stay extreme, my friends.”

Results – MCW:RED, WHITE, & BRUISED – 7/3/10

THE REV REVIEWS: RED, WHITE, & BRUISED – July 3, 2010 – From the MCW Wrestleplex, Alliance, OH

Allison Kay came down to the ring to start the evening’s festivities, and she happened to be holding a certain copy of Pro Wrestling Illustrated in her hand (Oh, I know where this is going to go. . .]. Why, she just couldn’t believe that Jessicka Havok was in this issue; after all (in case we forgot], someone drove her head-first into a chair last month! Then, to make matters even worse, she slowly tore out the page Jessicka appeared in and mock-wiped her backside with it! Hmmm. . . Seems Allison’s “To-Do” list had “Do something incredibly stupid today” at the top of it. This brought Ms. Havok out to the ring with a full head of steam — and following her was Commissioner Shasta.

Shasta told the gathered house that they deserved a round of applause for coming out on a night like this, and to be careful, because “we’ve got an angry bitch in the house” — pointing to an indignant Allison Kay. He then turned to Jessicka and congratulated her for making it in the magazine; as a reward, she was getting a return match with “Miss B.J.” Allison Kay. As Allison turned to walk back to the lockers, Shasta added, “By the way, when you go to the back, stop at the locker room — not the ‘back’ back. . .”

Whew! All that fun, and we hadn’t even started the matches yet!

In the opening match, Rex Rootin’ of the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos pulled off the upset of the night by defeating Supa Lucha after reversing an attempted Burrito Driver into a bridging pin. Lucha had several bursts of excellent offense, but it seemed that this was to be the Buckaroos’ night. (Although, with both Buckaroos at ringside, I can’t help but think that there might have been some chicanery. . . But since I can’t prove anything — well, it is what it is.) I’m giving this match my Harry Carey “HOLY COW!” Award in honor of the Buckaroo win. (Man, I did not see that coming . . . )

Luscious Larry Lavender came out to the ring, and talked about a phone call he’d gotten from the Mayor of Alliance after the last show; apparently the Mayor was worried about an earthquake he’d felt that night. Larry told him, “Don’t you worry — that was just ol’ Luscious Larry droppin’ Big Hurt through a table!” He then mentioned that since there was no clear winner in that table match, Big Hurt needed to come out and finish what they’d started. Hurt came to the ring and exchanged words with Larry, then turned around and went back to the locker room. This didn’t sit well with Larry, who replied “You won’t come in here? That’s okay, I’ll come to you!” and strode back to the locker room after him. I was expecting to see the two emerge fighting, but nope!

Justin Diaz (with the ever-present bewigged Dick Jeremy) returned to action as he defeated Nikki Skidz, who went on the attack just as the bell rang. Skidz made a decent effort, but Diaz used Mr. Glam Rock to send a message, signed with a double-underhook bulldog: Justin Diaz was back.

Wilbur Whitlock came to the ring, and I thought we’d be seeing the long-overdue title match between him and Mike Hercum. No, it seemed that Wilbur had something on his mind — but Hercum came out of the crowd and attacked him before he could say anything! Mike worked him over, then pulled off his belt and laid into Wilbur several times, even choking him with the belt. This brought the refs out to break things up. Hercum cockily walked back to the locker room, but never took his eyes off the ring. Wilbur, once he’d gathered his wits, stormed back to the locker room area as well — and from the look on his face, I wouldn’t have wanted to be anyone in his path.

Allison Key pulled off what I’m calling the theft of the night as she defeated Jessicka Havok by DQ in a match that was going on even before the bell rang! Allison seemed to have a basic strategy: beat the living hell out of Jessicka Havok. Jessicka managed a comeback and lit Allison up with a flurry of kicks and chops. At one point, the ref went down, and as Jessicka checked on him, Allison slid out of the ring, got the steel chair she’d brought with her and wedged in the corner (just like before), and then attempted to Irish whip Jessicka into it. Jessicka, however, reversed the move and sent Allison into the chair — just as the ref looked up and saw Jessicka’s move! Allison was awarded the match by DQ amidst a hearty chorus of “BULLSHIT!” (Now, before anyone says anything, I understand that refs can’t call what they can’t see, but great day in the blessed AM, how about some logic? How’d Jessicka set up the chair if she was checking on the ref?) This brought Shasta out again, who stopped Allison in her tracks. “Oh, so miss B.J. got a win. . .on July 17th, it’s going to be Jessicka Havok and ‘Miss B.J.’ Allison Kay one more time — and it’s going to be a No-DQ match!” Jessicka stormed back to the locker room, visibly and audibly pissed — and for my money, rightfully so!

MCW Heavyweight Champion Christian Vaughn (he of the ever-growing hairdo)– with Minka “Furry Boots” Murder (I swear those boots of hers get furrier every time I see her) — and his loyal minion Big Hurt faced off against the newly-formed tag team of “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein and Crazy, named “Mentally Unstable” (That may just be the best name I’ve ever heard for a tag team!). From the bell, this match was nothing but full-blown, non-stop mayhem. Things began to get interesting when who should come out to the ring but Luscious Larry Lavender, distracting Hurt and drawing him away from ringside. . .not to mention leaving him to the tender mercies of Krazy and Toby. A Krazy Krunch and Spinning Body Press later, and Mentally Unstable had picked up their first win!

While Toby and Krazy celebrated in the ring, Larry and Hurt were going at it ringside. This brought out Shasta again, calling for Security to break up the fight. “We all know there was no clear winner in your table match last time, so on July 17th, it’s Big Hurt and Luscious Larry one more time — in a No-DQ, Falls Count Anywhere match! Somebody’s gonna win this!”

The Main Event began with Wilbur coming to the ring, not just raring for a fight, but from the intense look on his face, raring to commit various acts of mayhem on the MCW Elite Champion, a leather belt-wielding Mike Hercum. Folks, I’ll be straight with you — this wasn’t a match, it was nothing but assault to commit bodily harm, if not outright attempted murder (and I don’t mean Minka). No matter how badly Hercum beat on Wilbur, Wilbur simply wouldn’t quit. At one point, Mike must have seen his hold on the Elite title slipping away, so he took the easy way out and bolted from the ring, just long enough to get counted out and retain the belt. This blatant act of cowardice spurred the crowd to an even-louder chorus of “BULLSHIT!”, and out came Shasta again, stopping Hercum in his tracks. “Hercum, you are a piece of shit bitch. . .you get yourself counted out to retain the title. But you know, everyone, give this guy a round of applause — he may just be the smartest man in the business. You jumped Wilbur earlier tonight and used a belt on him, and then you get yourself counted out to keep your belt. . .So, here’s what ‘s gonna happen. I got to thinking, and on July 17th, we’re gonna have a match that we’ve never had before in MCW. I’m gonna line the ring with wrestlers, and every one of ‘em gonna have a leather strap — there’ll also be no countouts in this match, and oh yeah, it’s gonna be Wilbur Whitlock and Mike Hercum for the MCW Elite Championship in the first ever Lumberjack Strap Match!” As the crowd cheered, Shasta paused and added “Since I’m in a brainstormin’ mood tonight, let’s make that match even better — I’m gonna give some fans leather straps as well!” This turned the volume up on the cheers. “And next time, we’re not gonna have any weak-ass 50/50 drawing — we’re gonna have a raffle where five winners get to have a strap!”

I think all of Mike Hercum’s karma just caught up with him.

And I think things are going to get even hotter then the weather outside on the 17th.

Until next time, I am, as always, the Reverend Rogue Six — and I’ll see you at ringside!

Results – MCW: Summer Showdown II – 6/19/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Summer Showdown II on June 19, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

Greetings, one and all! Once again, it’s me, your friendly neighbor Reverend Rogue Six, and this is your “Summer Showdown II” wrap-up!

I’m not saying that the weather outside the Wrestleplex was beastly hot, but when I got back inside the ‘Plex from picking up my order of takeout Chinese, my Teriyaki beef was Teriyaki jerky. . .

Wilbur Whitlock came to the ring to open up the show, and he had one thing on his mind — calling out the MCW Elite Champion, Mike Hercum, to settle some business. Since he pinned Hercum at SUMMER SHOWDOWN I, he was ready to cash in the title shot that he was due, and he wanted to do it in the ring, “right here, right now.” Hercum came out to the ring, dressed in his street clothes and asked Wilbur that even though he won the last match, he’d lost twice, so what made him think he deserved another shot? Wilbur replied that Commissioner Shasta had said he would have one coming if he won, and he wanted to do it right now (you’d have thought that Hercum would have gotten the point by now. . .).

The champ’s reply? Oh, Wilbur’d get his shot — just not tonight. (Wow, what a shock.) The only way he’d face Wilbur would be in a tag team match, with two other stipulations: Hercum would pick his own partner, and he’d also pick Wilbur’s — and Wilbur would find out who his partner was, later in the show. This prompted a “MIKE WEARS TAMPONS” chant (that’s what I admire about MCW fans, God love ‘em, they are a creative lot).

I couldn’t help but think that Mike was starting to show a touch of — shall we say — trepidation in facing Wilbur once more. . .maybe the champ was starting to feel his grip on that Elite Championship slipping a bit.

Eric Ryan was set to finish off Isaac Alter in the opening match, when “Killer” Chris Kole rushed the ring and attacked Ryan, causing the match to be ruled a No Contest (now this had me puzzled — I always thought that if someone interferes in a match and attacks one of the participants, doesn’t the one who benefited from the attack actually lose the match by DQ? MCW Referees, you wanna explain this one?).

Ryan’s tag team partner, Bobby Beverly, came out to back Eric and chase off Kole. Bobby then took the mic and said to Kole — “I’m sick and tired of you and your boyfriend always attacking us. . .you two know that in the ring, neither of you can touch us. . .I wasn’t scheduled to wrestle, but later tonight, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Given the Young Studs’ track record against Killer Sensation, I had the idea this was no idle threat.

Allison K returned to MCW, looking to avenge her prior loss to Jessicka Havok, and managed to dominate Jessicka for most of the match. . .that is, until she made one major error: she got Jessicka angry (which is never a smart thing to do in the ring) . Jessicka finished her off after hitting the Havok Effect (my name for her finisher — Jessicka, if you have a name for it, let me know) for the 3-count. After the match was over, they shook hands, hugged, and after this show of respect — Allison blasted Jessicka from behind, got a chair that she then wedged in the corner, and whipped Jessicka straight into it! A very smug Allison went back to the locker room as the refs tended to Jessicka.

Dr. Dale Pierce and Jebediah came to the ring amidst their usual chorus of boos with a piece of news: “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein wasn’t in the building (but his pregnant fiancee was), so this meant that there’d be no dog collar match tonight! This brought Commissioner Shasta out, and he wasn’t alone; he was leading Toby by the dog collar chain that would be a major part of Jebediah’s match later in the show. “You two are crazier then sheepshit if you think there won’t be a dog collar match tonight! This chain’s for Jebediah,” Shasta looked at Dr. Dale, “But it could easily be for you as well! I not only promised these people a dog collar match tonight — I promised them some of Jebediah’s blood!” Wow, Dr. Dale, that plan worked really well. . .

Bobby Beverly lived up to his vow to kick Chris Kole’s ass in the first of two impromptu matches, going on the attack just as the bell rang, and rolling Kole up minutes later for the pinfall and the win. This set off Kole, who laid out Beverly and began to beat on him relentlessly, despite warnings and orders from the refs.

If you’ve ever seen a dog collar match, you know that there’s very little wrestling, but massive amounts of hardcore violence and rampant carnage. No sooner were “Mr. Insanity” and Jebediah strapped into their collars then a “TOBY’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant started up, and the battle began. It didn’t take long before the chain became a deadly weapon and became as stained with blood as both men’s faces and bodies. The fight went out of the ring after Dr. Pierce threatened Toby’s fiance, but Jebediah quickly got back in and proceeded to hang Toby off the top rope. This prompted the referee to call for the bell and call the match — a No Contest? WTH? Wasn’t this a XXXEXTREME Rules match? (MCW Referees, you got some ‘splaining to do. . .)

Jebediah undid his collar and proceeded to beat on a semi-conscious Toby until Shasta came out and ordered both Jebediah and Dr. Dale back to the locker room — they were suspended! “Don’t worry,” Shasta added, “on July 3rd, I’ve got something really special in mind for them. . .” Toby, it seemed, didn’t care to wait; he went back to the locker room and dragged Jebediah out to the ring to give him his own post-match beating!

Something tells me the only way this war will ever end is when one of them is dead . . .

MCW Elite Champion Mike Hercum’s mystery tag team partner turned out to be none other then the MCW Heavyweight Champion, Christian Vaughn — whose hair, I swear, seems to be getting higher every time I see him — with Minka by his side. Wilbur’s mystery partner turned out to be none other then Supa Lucha, who seemed to complement Wilbur’s style. Vaughn and Hercum had a simple strategy: cut Lucha off from his corner and don’t let Wilbur in. Sound strategy, can’t fault it. It seemed to work for most of the match, until Lucha found an opening and rolled to his corner, tagging in Wilbur, who was more then ready to clean house. The end to the second impromptu match came as Hercum went for a sharpshooter on Lucha — only to end up taking a Whitlock Cutter from Wilbur, who then pinned him! (Hey, Mike — how’d that plan of yours work out? Not like you’d hoped, I’m betting. . .)

Shasta had a message for the Elite Champion: “You get to wear that belt for at least two more weeks — because on July 3rd, you’re going to defend it. . .against Wilbur Whitlock!”

(Another question for the Elite Champion: wow, karma’s a real bitch, true??)

As the crowd moved several feet back from the ring, the tables were set for the XXXEXTREME Rules Two of Three Tables Match between Big Hurt and Luscious Larry Lavender. Larry went through the first table after Hurt choke slammed him off the ring apron; Hurt went through the second table to tie the score at one apiece after Larry powerbombed him off the ring apron! The two were on the ring apron later in the match trading blows, the top rope holding each man up. . .but when they clinched up, the impossible happened — BOTH MEN WENT THROUGH THE 3rd TABLE! The bell rang, and the match was declared a draw. A chorus of boos and a chant of “ONE MORE TABLE” went up; Shasta announced that on July 3rd, both Hurt and Larry would go at it again, so that this match wasn’t wasted.

If anything, tonight was a night of surprises. This series was a helluva way to start the summer off — and who knows what kind of heat would July bring?

Until next time, I am The Reverend Rogue Six, and I’ll see you at ringside!

Results – MCW: Summer Showdown – 6/05/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Summer Showdown on June 5, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

I’m not going to say that the rain was heavy at times coming to Alliance, but I swear that I saw a man in a field with a very large boat and a lot of animals around it. . .you be the judge.

Once again, it is I, the Reverend Rogue Six with a wrap-up of MCW’s Summer Showdown!

In the opening bout, Krazy took on Isaac Alter and company in a one-on-one (or in this case, a possible three-on-one) match-up. Krazy started things off by going to the air right away — and missed, giving the Unholy Acolyte an opening for a dropkick. This allowed young Isaac to take control right away. Near the end, Isaac managed to avoid a top-rope Krazy Krunch (with the help of his entourage, who grabbed Isaac’s foot to interrupt the move) by shoving Krazy off the turnbuckle and nailed a frog splash to score the pinfall win.

I’ve got to say, every time I see Isaac in the ring, he shows me signs of constant improvement. I don’t impress all that easily, but this kid, he impresses me. Now, if he could just stand on his own without the entourage. . .

Big Hurt and Mr. Insanity faced off in a very evenly-set match that was interrupted by the arrival of Toby’s current nemesis, Jebediah, with Dr. Dale Pierce close behind him. The sneak attack started in, and another guest was soon added to the party — Big Hurt’s current enemy: Luscious Larry Lavender. Larry went after Big Hurt, and after the smoke finally cleared, it was Larry and Mr. Insanity left standing in the ring for a little post-match dancing. Okay, that’s something you don’t see every day. . .but I can tell you this — these two feuds are nowhere close to being over. On June 19th, Big Hurt and Luscious Larry are slated for a Best of 3 Falls Table Match (that‘s going to be sick), and Jebediah and Mr. Insanity are set for a Dog Collar match — both of these matches are scheduled for a Double Main Event!

The ongoing animosity between the Young Studs and Killer Sensation continued tonight, as Eric Ryan took on Chris Kole in singles competition. Despite Kole dominating most of the match, Ryan rolled out of an attempted back drop, caught Kole in a schoolboy pin, and just that quickly — the match was over! It’s been said that wrestling is “a game of human chess”, and this match was a clear example of it; one wrong move, and your game is over.

Bobby Beverly, the other half of the Young Studs team, took on Crew Spence (man, what a name)that Bobby clearly controlled – that is, controlled until Killer Sensation rushed the ring and attacked both Beverly and Ryan. The ref had no choice but to declare the match a no-contest. As the attack went on, all Spence did was give Killer Sensation a round of applause and a thumbs-up as he walked away from the ring (way to man up there, Spence). After the attack was done, Chris Kole took the mic and launched into some kind of rant, but I could barely understand him. Ryan and Beverly tried to get out of the ring as the rant went on, but that only earned them more abuse from Kole and Shane.

The wheels of justice, a wise man once said, grind slowly — but they do grind steadily. Mike Hercum’s reign as the first MCW Elite Champion had been tainted with controversy since the night he stole the title from Wilbur Whitlock. Hercum had managed to keep a tight grip of the Elite belt by less-than-Elite (shall we say) methods, but something kept telling me that his luck was due to run out. In his match with Wilbur this night, Hercum cheated once again (big surprise there)by using the ropes for leverage and got the pin. The referee didn’t see this, which prompted a second ref to come out and argue with him over what happened. This brought out Commissioner Shasta, who ordered that the match be restarted!

Wilbur hit a sunset flip on Hercum, who held the ropes so Wilbur couldn’t finish the move and go for the pin. This also made it look as though Hercum was pinning Wilbur. . .and as the ref counted to 2, he looked up and saw Mike holding the ropes — so the ref kicked Hercum’s hands off the ropes, Wilbur rolled Hercum up for the pin, and with a count of three, Wilbur had finally scored a pinfall win over the Elite Champion! The irony of all this? The match was a non-title match. But maybe this might prompt yet another match. . .

I found myself particularly looking forward to the Main Event — a Women’s Tag Team match, fought under Triple Extreme (XXXEXTREME, I’m told is the better way to spell it) rules. And I was not disappointed. Sassy Stephanie’s partner for this battle turned out to be Tuff Tina, who had faced Jessicka Havok’s wrath in Mansfield — but as Jessicka came to the ring with a shopping cart filled with a trash can and other playtoys, both Stephanie and Tina wondered where Jessicka’s partner was (not that they were all that worried, they just wanted to know if she even had one). Jessicka’s reply was “just a second”, and after she emptied the cart, she opened the trash can — and out popped her tag team partner: ANGEL DUST! (Okay, now THAT’S how you make an entrance!)

Jessicka showed off her battling skills as she used both Stephanie’s and Tina’s skulls for batting practice with a kendo stick! She also superplexed Tina onto the trash can — and I’m telling you, that just hurt to watch. . .

Tina, on the other hand, was no slouch to an XXXEXTREME rules match as she opened two steel chairs, placed them both together, and power bombed Angel Dust onto them — which would have looked really lethal, but given Angel’s size, it had no effect on the chairs! (Oops!) Jessicka finished things off by blasting Tina with the kendo stick and DDTing Stephanie on a steel chair for the 1 – 2 – 3!

I’ll tell you, I haven’t see this kind of carnage in a long time. And I’m not ashamed to say that I loved it!

Until next time, as always, I am the Reverend Rogue Six — and I’ll see you at ringside!

Results – MCW: Mayhem in Mansfield – 5/29/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Mayhem in Mansfield on May 29, 2010 from The R&L Party Center in Mansfield, OH.

Commissioner Shasta came out to start off the show, telling everyone how it was great to be back in Mansfield. But before he could say much more, the MCW Heavyweight Champion, Christian Vaughn (along with Minka) decided to make his presence known by coming out and interrupting Shasta (an action definitely not on my list of smart things to do…)

According to Christian, it seemed that Brain Damage was nowhere to be found once again, and so it looked like there would be no barbed-wire death match for the Main Event. Just at that moment, out went the lights — and when they came back up, SURPRISE!

There stood the one and only Brain Damage, right behind him. Vaughn and Minka got out of the ring as if Christian’s hair was on fire, leaving both Brain Damage and Shasta behind.

Well, if you’re going to start off a show, do it with a bang, I always say,

Luscious Larry Lavender defeated Big Hurt in the opening match with a schoolboy pin. Following the match, it was announced that Larry and Big Hurt would face off in a Tables match on June 5th at the Wrestleplex; the first to put his opponent through two tables wins!

Krazy faced Isaac Alter (with the rest of the Church)and simply beat the Unholy Acolyte like the proverbial red-headed stepchild from the opening bell. At one point in the match, Krazy even took a moment to ask a young fan (who was 4 years old, I found out later) to move out of her seat — just before he launched Isaac right into it! With a Krazy Krunch off the top rope, it was 1-2-3, and a win for Amityville’s favorite son.

It takes a special kind of talent to get an entire crowd to vehemently hate you by just entering the room, and from the crowd’s reaction, I’d say that Mike Hercum’s got that talent in spades. Next to the ring came Justin Diaz with a smile on his face, but I could see that he was still babying those ribs a little. Not a good sign. And of course, not two seconds behind Diaz was Dick Jeremy running out and screaming “Wait! I’m coming too! I’m coming too!” (Fill in your own joke here.) Hercum had a simple game plan: attack Diaz‘s ribs. Diaz went for his bulldog, only to have Hercum drop to the ground to counter it. Mike then started punting Diaz in the ribs whenever he tried to get up; Just as Hercum set up for the big final kick, out of nowhere, Dick Jeremy actually SLAPPED Hercum on the ass! Not the smartest move, but I’ll give him credit for having the nerve to do something! Hercum came out to the ring with a full mad-on and said something like “I’m going to kick your ass!” Dick bolted around the ring but was caught. Mike was on the verge of punching Dick’s ticket, but then I saw Diaz climb to the top rope for an incredible dive onto both of them! The crowd erupted into a chant of “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Hercum and Diaz got back into the ring and began exchanging punches for several moments. Diaz managed to hits the Stigmata on Hercum, but only got a 2.99 count. As Diaz picked up Hercum, Mike swept the legs and locked Diaz in the Sharpshooter, gaining another submission win.

Jessicka Havok defeated Tuff Tina after blocking a Samoan Drop attempt and finishing her off for the win. The crowd was clearly behind Jessicka tonight.

The Young Studs gained the number one seed in the upcoming MCW Tag Team tournament by defeating Killer Sensation in a much-anticipated rematch after reversing a Shane Sensation suplex into a power bomb/neck breaker combination.

Jebediah (with Dr. Dale Pierce) and Mr. Insanity wrestled to a double countout, but after the match, both Jebediah and Dr. Dale mercilessly worked Toby over — once again. As far as this blood-feud goes, I’d have to say it’s nowhere near over.

Now, as Vaughn came out to the ring for the Main Event, I have to say that at first it was rather odd to see him with his hair slicked back — but then I thought about it; given that he was going to be wrestling with barbed wire, he certainly didn’t want to get his hair caught in it. Okay, sound strategy there.

Things started off slowly; from the look in Vaughn’s eyes, anyone could tell he didn’t want to be there. From the look in Brain Damage’s eyes, I could see what was on his mind: mayhem and carnage. There were two plywood sheets set up with 4 strands of barbwire across each of them (I’ve seem these sheets used in Japanese barbed-wire matches), and you knew it wouldn’t take long for them to come into play. At one point in the match, Christian laid one of the plywood sheets on top of Brain Damage, went to the top rope and jumped, landing knees-first on the board. Vaughn went to the top once more, only to be cut off by Brain Damage, who then set a steel chair up in the middle of the ring, climbed to the top behind Christian and Spider German Suplexed him onto the chair, flattening it! Minka tried to help her man out, which could be labeled as a really stupid move, a blonde moment, or attempted suicide (take your pick). Just as Brain Damage picked her up onto his shoulders, out came Big Hurt, who took out Brain Damage‘s legs — with Minka being dropped right onto the barbed wire!

Hurt picked up Brain Damage, hurled him through the second plywood sheet and dragged him to the middle of the ring, then got a hold of Vaughn, dropped him on top of Brain Damage, and then literally laid on top of Vaughn to keep Brain Damage from kicking out for the pinfall and the win.

Once again, Christian Vaughn got saved by his minion, Big Hurt. I’m still waiting for the day that Hurt decides that HE wants a title shot…that should prove to be interesting.

Until next time, I am the Reverend Rogue Six, and I’ll see you at ringside!

Results – MCW at The MCW Wrestleplex – 5/15/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Mayday II on May 15, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

The festivities for tonight began with the new MCW Commissioner — of course, I speak of The Man Himself, Shasta – coming to the ring. He was sporting a blazer; after all, if one is in charge, one must dress the part. I have to admit, not many people (outside of Sean Connery and Roddy Piper) could pull off the look of a blazer and kilt, but damn if he didn’t do it right.

Shasta gave a hearty welcome to the crowd, and even asked if they liked the jacket. He wanted to take a few moments to discuss how things were going to be under his new leadership.

First of all, when everyone went home tonight, they could go online (or push their little brother off the computer if he’s watching porn) to take a look at the new MCWPRO website, which was up and running.

Secondly, we were only 2 weeks from the show in Mansfield at the R&L Center, and after the Main Event, everyone needed to stay around for a special announcement that Shasta had concerning the Mansfield show; he added that for this show, MCW was offering a deal on tickets available only tonight — 4 tickets for only $10! And after the Mansfield show was over, they’d also be showing the latest UFC pay-per-view for FREE!

That’s MCW for you — always taking care of the fans!

But Shasta was not done. . .oh no, not yet.

He said how MCW would never apologize for things they’d do; “if you bring kids to a show, you’re on your own.” He was also bringing a new brand of rules into MCW shows — a little something called TRIPLE EXTREME rules: anything goes.

“If you’re easily offended, then go somewhere else! You’ve got the greatest company here in the state of Ohio!”

And with that said, he turned the mic over to “the sexiest announcer in wrestling — Miss Sarah” to start the show.

Out to the ring came one of the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos (Senior Referee Dave Rogers told me it was Tex). And with the strains of the classic “Bad Moon Rising”, out came the one and only Luscious Larry Lavender.

Tex must’ve not been that impressed by Larry’s singing, because he proceeded to jump Larry before he got in the ring. Larry returned the favor by tagging Tex with a series of clotheslines and then knocking him right out of the ring. Larry dominated Tex for most of the match — but kept making one error time and time again; he kept turning his back on Tex, who made the most of the openings that he could get. Larry finally finished the Texan off with a Rock Bottom and then a leg drop from the top rope for the pinfall. Now, here’s where it got odd; before Miss Sarah could announce him as the winner, the Luscious One rolled out of the ring and headed straight for the back — why, I have no idea!

As a somewhat woozy Tex was helped backstage, Nikki Skidz came out to the ring. His opponent for the night — none other then Jebediah and Dr. Dale Pierce. “Lord,” I thought, “don’t let him get the microphone. . .he did enough damage last time. . .”

The bell rang, and Jebediah went right on the attack, pummeling Skidz relentlessly and throwing him into each and every ringpost as many times as he could. While this went on, Dr. Dale stood outside the ring, orchestrating the attack, distracting the referee to allow his man to inflict more punishment, and looking for all the world like a proud papa. To Nikki’s credit, he did manage a comeback a couple of times — for only a few moments.

Jebediah then began to roll Skidz up for a 2-count, then lift him up to stop the count several times. I heard Dr. Dale say to certain people, “The more you shout, the more he punishes Skidz!”

Apparently Jebediah grew tired of beating on Nikki, because he hit him with a Hot Shot, then nailed him with the Haybaler for the pin.

Then Dr. Dale came in the ring, just as Skidz was unceremoniously tossed out, and took the mic. Evidently the answer to my prayer was “nope”. Just as the Doctor went into his rant, the crowd’s boos managed to override his words — but I wasn’t too fond of the disturbing motions Jebediah was making with that cane. . .the boos then changed into a “WE DON’T CARE” chant that grew in volume. The rant finished, the duo took their leave of the ring.

As the ringing of the chants calmed down, Aero smith’s “Love in an Elevator” began to play, and out came the newest sensations in MCW, the Young Studs.

Eric Ryan took the microphone, and began talking about how they requested the time to talk with the fans a bit, plugging their merchandise, then about how they plan to become the top tag team in MCW. After all, their track record was looking pretty good; they’d beaten the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos, they’d beaten Killer Sensation —

Bobby Beverly interrupted, saying that he knew why they were called “Killer Sensation”; it was because Chris Kole got a sensation every time that Shane. . .Eric stopped him before he could finish the statement, saying that the Young Studs will prove themselves each and every night.

At this point, out came Commissioner Shasta. He agreed with the Studs, yes, they are exciting. But he’s had to put up with Killer Sensation’s bitching and moaning about wanting a rematch to prove that the Studs’ win was a fluke. And Shasta had a solution: in 2 months, MCW would be staging a tournament to crown new Tag Team Champions. At the May 29th show, there would be a rematch between the Young Studs and Killer Sensation; the winners of the match would be the number one seed in the tournament! Shasta told the Studs to come “ready to kick ass and take names” that night.

Big Hurt took on Supa Lucha in a classic matchup of speed and agility vs. brute force and strength. Hurt was frustrated many times by Lucha’s hit-n-run attacks, and made him pay for it every time that he caught him. But no matter what he did, be it a backbreaker into a submission hold over his knee or ramming Lucha’s back into a ringpost, Lucha simply would not quit! Just as Hurt slammed the masked man into the mat with a massive

spinebuster — out from the back came Luscious Larry Lavender, belting out “Bad Moon Rising”. . .and it seemed the song was dedicated to Big Hurt!

While Hurt was wondering what the hell Larry was doing, he took his eyes off Lucha, who went to the air and caught the big man with a flying sunset flip and rollup for the win — and the upset of the night!

For this match, I’m dedicating the Rev’s “Payback’s a Bitch, Ain’t It?” award to Luscious Larry Lavender and my “Iron Man” award to Supa Lucha for not giving up, regardless of the damage he took.

During intermission, I took the time to stretch my legs. While doing so, I heard Sassy Stephie ringside, laying the trash talk on Jessicka Havok, who was signing autographs over at the merchandise table. “Okay,” I thought to myself, “this is interesting. . .” Just as I heard the announcement that the show would be starting back up shortly, saw Stephie wander over to the merchandise table, still talking smack, and then BAM! She slapped the taste right out of Jessicka’s mouth. Oh lord. Stephie must’ve decided that tonight was a good night to die. Jessicka snapped, flipped the table she was at over like it was nothing, and went after Stephie. The fight went away from the tables, headed past the ring, and straight for the concession stand — where I was standing! (Never thought I’d nearly become part of the show. . .)

The two of them went at it like two bloodthirsty lionesses, neither relenting in their attacks. At one point, Stephie bailed out of the ring and headed for the back, Jessicka in hot pursuit. Just as the match was announced as a double-countout, the battle came back to the ring for several moments, only to go back to the locker room again. . .and out they came again! They fought even more (Nick Andrews making the Quote of the Night: “You two can continue that at my house if you want. . .”) as a chant of “LET THEM FIGHT” went up while the refs separated the two and took them backstage. Great day in the freaking morning! Shasta came out and asked the crowd “Whaddya think of those 2 fighting like that?” He added that if Jessicka and Steph could find partners, on June 5th, there’d be a Women’s Tag Team match — fought under Triple Extreme rules!

For the sheer explosiveness of this impromptu match, I have to give this one two awards: the Rev’s “Match of the Night” and “The Deadlier of the Species”.

As the dust settled, out came the MCW Elite Champion, Mike Hercum. He looked a bit dismayed that there were no cheers for him (sorry mate, but they way you’ve been going, if you want cheers, you came to the wrong place). Just as he took the mic, I saw a rare sight that made me check my glasses — the Riot Zone got up and left! (I kid you not!)

Chants of “SHUT UP HERCUM” and “SHUT THE FUCK UP” started as Mike went into his little self-serving talk. “At the last show, Wilbur Whitlock took me on, and he didn’t do a thing to me, because I’ve still got the title. . .”

A new chant of “BORING” started as Hercum went on: “Guys like Wilbur don’t stand a chance against guys like me. . .call me what you want, it doesn’t matter. . .because no matter what, I’m still the Elite Champion!”

And with that, he left, hefting his belt over his shoulder.

Nice to see that Mike can brighten up the ring. . .by leaving it.

Father MalachI led his Flock to the ring as Isaac Alter was scheduled to face Wilbur Whitlock. I didn’t like Wilbur’s odds for this match, which I was sure was going to turn out to be a 4-on-1 handicap with Mary and the masked beast Ezekiel at ringside. And as the match went along, I was right; if it wasn’t Mal tripping or choking Wilbur, Mary managed to interject herself into the match. I must, though, give a measure of credit to young Isaac — he showed definite signs of improvement.

But when this bunch is around, you know it’s going to be interesting. And tonight would be no exception.

Issac went up to the top, only to be pushed off by Wilbur — right into Mal, Mary, and Ezekiel! Wilbur followed that with a dive through the ropes and got them again!

Ezekiel (who’d been taken off the chain) got in the ring — only to be stopped by Mary, who slapped him in the face! Ezekiel then picked her up and tossed HER onto Wilbur and MalachI! (Now I’ve seen everything!)

Isaac caught Wilbur with a tornado DDT that slowed him down for a moment, but Wilbur then came back with a Russian Leg Sweep, a pair of atomic drops, and a reverse DDT.

Mary came back in and got into Wilbur’s face — bad move on her part. He took her by the hand, pulled her over his knee, lifted her schoolgirl skirt, and gave her a few swift smacks on the backside! Just as he dropped her off his knee, he finished Issac off with a Whitlock Cutter — but before he could pin him, in came Ezekiel to cause the DQ of Isaac and a win for Wilbur.

As the bell rang, ending the match, in came Krazy, who went after Isaac. . .and then came Mike Hercum, armed with his title belt, laying it into Wilbur’s head twice.

While the Alters left the ring, Hercum stood over Wilbur for several moments, then spit on him and left the ring. (Yeah, way to show class, Mike.)

All this insanity – and we still had the Main Event to go!

First to the ring came Justin Diaz and Dick Jeremy, who seemed to be in a blonde state of mind due to his wig.

Then out came MCW Heavyweight Champion Christian Vaughn, with his entourage of Minka Murder and Big Hurt.

I swear to you, folks, I don’t know why, but for some reason Vaughn’s hair was higher then ever before! (And to think I used to ride Nikki Skidz about his use of hair spray. . .)He was now in full peacock mode, by the size of it.

Just as he neared the ring, the chant of “VAUGHN’S A FAG” started, changing into Minka’s “SHE’S GOT HERPES” chant.

The bell rang, and Vaughn went for a test of strength — only to receive the traditional one-finger salute from Diaz.

Diaz was moving fairly well for someone with injured ribs, deftly avoiding Vaughn’s attempts to go after them for quite awhile until a head shot got through. As the attacks intensified, Vaughn began to mock Diaz; Dick got so frustrated, he popped his wig!

Diaz rallied to nail Vaughn with an enzugiri and his bulldog, but then the game got even nastier when Vaughn got what looked like knucks on his hand — and as he went to nail Diaz with them, Diaz ducked. . .and Vaughn nailed Minka hard enough to knock the tiara off her head!

This gave Diaz an opening to go up and come off the top rope — but Vaughn caught him in mid-flight with a fist to the gut, which allowed the champ to roll him up for the 1-2-3.

Shasta came out for his surprise announcement.

“Actually,” he said, “this is more of a surprise for you, Vaughn. Last time, you were scheduled to defend the title against someone who couldn’t make it. . .well, on May 29th, you’re defending the MCW Heavyweight title — against Brain Damage!

“And that’s only the first part. . .”

What? There’s more?

“The second part is that the match will be done under. . .Triple Extreme rules — in a barbed wire death match!”

As the crowd cheered at the news, I couldn’t help but notice the once-smug champ suddenly looking very, very worried. . .

What horrors awaited Christian on the 29th?

Only time was going to tell. . .

Until next time, I’m the Reverend Rogue Six, and I’ll see you at ringside!

Results – MCW at The MCW Wrestleplex – 5/01/10

The Rev reviews MCW: Mayday I on May 1, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

To start things off, Christian Vaughn came out to the ring to talk on the mic about how he was still the MCW Champ and that he continues to give the fans what they want every show. I’d love to know what fans he was talking to, because some of the ones I’ve listened to are getting a little fed up with his methods of saving himself and his title. . .

Diaz’s music began to play, thankfully ending Vaughn’s little rant, and out came the Commissioner to (ironically) congratulate Vaughn on once more pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes and sneaking his way to another stolen victory. Diaz went on to add that he’d just recovered from a major neck/back injury that should’ve ended his career, and the pre-match ambush by Vaughn and his minion Big Hurt not only helped Vaughn win, it also broke 2 of Diaz’s ribs and put him on the shelf for another 4-6 weeks.

Vaughn replied that if Diaz wasn’t happy with the results of the match, he would gladly give him another shot at the title…but he was an impatient man and the rematch would take place in Alliance on May 15th! (Wow, picking his shots, didn’t see that coming. . .)

Diaz, fighter that he is, reluctantly accepted the challenge. But he had something to add — “I just remembered the whole reason I came out here tonight. It wasn’t to consort with you, your dog, or whatever you call that tramp on your arm. You see, since I’m returning to active wrestling, it wouldn’t be ethical for me to remain the Commissioner of MCW Wrestling.” Vaughn seemed to be a little too happy at this point. As for me, my Rogue-sense started going off; I smelled something was going to happen. . .

After Diaz took a moment to explain to Dick Jeremy that no, it wasn’t him, Diaz said, “Since you believe you’re the face of MCW Wrestling, then let me give you a first look at your new boss. the new MCW Commissioner is…SHASTA!” (I was right!)

Shasta came out to the ring as Vaughn’s jaw dropped to the mat and told people that things have been great, but they’re about to get a whole lot better. And as for Vaughn, Shasta said that he may not be allowed to wrestle in an MCW ring at this time, but he swore to make Vaughn’s life a living hell! (A side note — if you know anything of the matches that Vaughn and Shasta have had, then you know that last statement was no idle threat — it was a bonafide guarantee!)

In the opening matchup, it was the Unholy Acolyte Isaac Alter taking on Krazy, who was in control for most of the match. Out of the blue, Mary ran to the back, and the next thing we hear is the voice of MalachI, saying something about how his “following has grown”, and introduced the newest member of his flock, a large and masked creature called Ezekiel Alter. Out from the back came Mary, holding a metal chain that was wrapped around Ezekiel’s neck like a leash! This distraction gave Isaac the opening he needed to start beating down Krazy as Ezekiel entered the ring. Both Alters (lord, I’m hoping these two aren’t related in any form outside the name. . .that’s got to be one scary family if they are)worked Krazy over for several moments, Isaac finishing Krazy off with a frog splash; the trio then left the ring and returned to the back. Apparently the match was a no-contest (I couldn’t hear the call that well. . .).

Larry Lavender’s musical entrance was cut short when Big Hurt came out and nailed him with a kendo stick! Man, talk about a music critic. . .Big Hurt then took a mic and had something on his mind, but due to the boos from the crowd, damn if I knew what he was saying.

Oh well, probably wasn’t all that important.

The newest stars of the MCW roster, the Young Studs, soundly defeated the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos (we had BOTH Buckaroos in the ring — a rare sight)when Eric Ryan went to the top rope and did a moonsault onto one Buckaroo(still can’t keep them straight), who then rolled out to let his brother, Buckaroo 2 in. Eric knocked him down, while Bobby Beverly climbed up to the top rope and gave Buckaroo 2 a Flying Legdrop. Eric took the opening to take the three-count and the win.

Mike Hercum came out to the ring with a microphone in hand. Just what we needed to hear, more bragging. He managed to get out the words “Welcome to the show…”, but anything after that was kind of lost in the boos from the crowd — until familiar music begins to play. . .and out came Wilbur Whitlock! Just before the fight evn came close to starting, MCW security broke the two apart; Shasta came out and ordeed that the Main Event for the evening would be Hercum defending his Elite Championship Title against Wilbur Whitlock (who, for my money, is the rightful champion)! From the sheer volume of the cheers, I think everyone approved.

“Killer” Chris Kole and “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein faced off in the next match. It started with both trying to outdo each one another in a excellent show of chain wrestling, then progressed to Kole suplexing Toby onto the bare floor (man, that just hurt to watch), but ended with Toby scoring a schoolboy pin on Kole for the 1-2-3.

But apparently things weren’t over just yet.

Out to the ring came Jebediah and Dr. Dale Pierce. The doctor took the mic and started into one of his near-incoherent rants, but then I managed to catch him saying something about Toby’s pregnant girlfriend, who happened to be in the crowd. Dr.Dale then made a comment about how “the world didn’t need another bastard child” and threatened to basically give the girl an abortion with his cane.

Oh. My. God.

I thought I’d heard it all. But this. . .

I’ll tell you something, folks. . .I’ve always said that I try to be unbiased when I write my reviews, I really try my best. . .but damnit, I’m a human being, and I have my limits. It takes a lot to shock the Rev, and this shocked me.

This was over the line. Way over the line.

Toby rushed out, looking for all the world like the Wrath of God made real. But Jebediah and the Doctor got to him, handcuffed him to the ropes, and worked him over with what looked like a pair of barbed wire brass knuckles.

They left Toby wearing what the late Gordon Solie would call “the crimson mask”. People were actually turning their heads from the sight, but I didn’t.

Jebediah, Dr. Dale. . .I can only hope you two have made peace with whatever God you follow. . .and to quote Jeff Jarrett, you better make the checks out to Satan, because there’ll be Hell to pay — and soon.

Okay, enough of that — move on, Rev.

Jessicka Havok faced newcomer Allison K, and I have to say that for a newbie, Allison seemed to have no idea as to what she’d signed on for this night. I give her a “B-“ for effort, but when you’re facing someone the likes of a Jessicka Havok, you need to bring your “A” game, or just don’t show at all. Allison tried her finisher twice, but got blocked once before Jessicka reversed the second try and rolled her up for the win. Better luck next time, Allison.

After being robbed of the Elite Championship, Wilbur exacted a measure of payback on Mike Hercum in the Main Event. But when the ref was knocked out, Mike rolled out, got the belt, and decked Wilbur with it. He then rolled the semi-conscious ref over, rolled Wilbur up for the pin as the ref SLLLOOOWWWLLLYYY counts 3 and with that, Hercum retained the title.

Well, MCW has started the month of May off with a bang — and on May 15th, we’ll see what the fallout of all this will be at MAYDAY II.

Until then, I am the Reverend Rogue Six, and I’ll see you at ringside!

NOTE: This review was written after watching raw footage of the show; I had planned to attend in person, but was called out of town at the last minute on a personal matter; thus, I was unable to be there.

Jimmy Hart Owes Me Thirty Minutes Of My Life Back

JIMMY HART OWES ME THIRTY MINUTES OF MY LIFE BACK:
ON “WRESTLICIOUS TAKEDOWN”
By The Reverend Rogue Six

That’s right, I said it.
Jimmy Hart, The Mouth of the South, owes me 30 minutes of my life back. Moreover, here’s why.
I’d happened to hear about a new all-female wrestling promotion that was starting up, a little something called “Wrestlicious”.
That name was all I had to go on.
I had been wondering if I’d find it on TV, and which channel, if any, would carry it. One night, while going through the channel guide, I came across it on a channel called MAVTV (an HD-only channel) which seemed to be the equivalent of SPIKE-TV. So I set the DVR to record it, and planned to watch it the next day.
The next morning, I sat down with a cup of coffee, cued the show up on the DVR, and pressed PLAY.
And what I watched for the next 30 minutes left me saying “Oh dear freaking Lord. . .”
Whatever “Wrestlicious” was supposed to be, it was nothing remotely close to a wrestling show. This was nothing more then a bad version of GLOW (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google it and you’ll learn), and when I say bad, I mean BAD. There were more mind-numbingly stupid sketches then anything else, with only one wrestling match in the entire show. The match itself was decent, but the announcer seemed to have a need to constantly make puns (and lousy ones at that) with every move. I mean, I love puns as much as anyone, but c’mon, make them good ones.
After the show was over, I checked out the show’s website to see just what this new promotion was all about. All I can say is that Jimmy Hart must’ve bought up all the GLOW costumes he could get, because many of the workers tended to look a little too familiar. I’m not entirely sure just what in the blue hell he had in mind when he created this glorified train wreck of a show, but I’ll take a shot in the dark and predict that it’s not going to last very long.
Before you think me overly judgmental, I’m all for giving something brand-new a fair chance. However, when something such as this is such a gross insult to my intelligence, I find it necessary, if not my sacred duty, to say (in the words of the legendary Stone Cold Steve Austin) “OH HELL NO!”
Therefore, as I said at the start, Jimmy Hart — if, by some stroke of cosmic chance you would happen to read this — you, sir, owe me 30 minutes of my life back. Either the 30 minutes, or a night with Brooke Hogan, doesn’t matter.
But you owe me, Jimmy.
You owe me.

Until next time, as always, I am the Reverend Rogue Six, and thus endeth the sermon.

Note From WrestleOhio:We have started a thread on our forum to discuss this topic. You can find it under the Diva section or just click here – Wrestlicious forum

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