I Want to Be Bobby Heenan, Dammit!!

Posted on May 13, 2012 by  

Ernie Ballz

"The Rockshow" Ernie Ballz
Pro Wrestling: Men in Tights
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Though I feel that I can hang in the ring with just about anyone, I know that my greatest asset is my mouth and what comes out of it. I learned how to talk from a guy named CK3, but many of you probably know as Krimson. When Bender and I were still tagging as Team Clash, we would travel with CK everywhere, and I got to listen to him spout off at the mouth each and every night once he got into the ring. Eventually, just being around all of that and watching other influences rubbed off on me and I made it my own.

Talking became even easier to me when I started working for PWO and had my own interview segment called “The Rockshow.” It gave me a chance to basically say what I was feeling at any given point in time and get it out there for people to hear. It also made me realize how much I loved it and the fact that I would probably be content with just being a manager rather than a wrestler.

I LOVE wrestling, but if I were a manager I would not miss the pain. It’s all the fun, with a minimal amount of action. Plus, there is NO ONE out there who is considered a great manager right now. The biggest reason for that is because the WWE apparently thinks that letting a woman go out there and scream “EXCUSE ME” for 2 minutes is good enough. Well, it’s not.

I want to be Bobby Heenan dammit! I want to be that guy that sets the standard for managing and is really remembered for random things he said and whatnot. It’s a totally different thing that the business has not REALLY done since the 80’s. I just wonder if the issue is that people feel managers are useless or if there truly is no one that can do it the right way.

The whole point of a manager is to have a guy there to talk for a wrestler who cannot necessarily talk for themselves. This is definitely something that I would LOVE to do. WWE has tried it a few times here and there with people like Ranjin Sighn for the Great Kahli, and Armando Estrada with Umaga, but it never seems to stick at all. I really do not get it.

Ranjin Sighn sucked; he’s a writer for WWE so he belongs in the back, not in the ring. Armando Estrada was FUCKING AMAZING though. I really did see him becoming the next Bobby Heenan, but the WWE put the kibosh on that real quickly. He was just used to help get Umaga over, then sent to ECW to rot until they decided to release him.

Now, the WWE has Vickie on TV, screeching and hollering, but not really ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING!!! They have also recently brought Abraham Washington back up to TV as “AW” and he seems to be building his little stable. I am very interested to see how that who situation turn out honestly, because I always saw something in him when he was on ECW before.

Long and short of it, we need to bring managers back into the fold of professional wrestling. NOT VALETS, but MANAGERS. These are people that will actually add value to a match by their presence at ringside, not bitches with their hoo-ha’s and ta-ta’s hanging out in order to be seen as “eye candy.” They have moved most of those girls to another role in the company by calling them “divas” or “knockouts.”

#BringBackManagers

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