Jimmy Hart Owes Me Thirty Minutes Of My Life Back

JIMMY HART OWES ME THIRTY MINUTES OF MY LIFE BACK:
ON “WRESTLICIOUS TAKEDOWN”
By The Reverend Rogue Six

That’s right, I said it.
Jimmy Hart, The Mouth of the South, owes me 30 minutes of my life back. Moreover, here’s why.
I’d happened to hear about a new all-female wrestling promotion that was starting up, a little something called “Wrestlicious”.
That name was all I had to go on.
I had been wondering if I’d find it on TV, and which channel, if any, would carry it. One night, while going through the channel guide, I came across it on a channel called MAVTV (an HD-only channel) which seemed to be the equivalent of SPIKE-TV. So I set the DVR to record it, and planned to watch it the next day.
The next morning, I sat down with a cup of coffee, cued the show up on the DVR, and pressed PLAY.
And what I watched for the next 30 minutes left me saying “Oh dear freaking Lord. . .”
Whatever “Wrestlicious” was supposed to be, it was nothing remotely close to a wrestling show. This was nothing more then a bad version of GLOW (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google it and you’ll learn), and when I say bad, I mean BAD. There were more mind-numbingly stupid sketches then anything else, with only one wrestling match in the entire show. The match itself was decent, but the announcer seemed to have a need to constantly make puns (and lousy ones at that) with every move. I mean, I love puns as much as anyone, but c’mon, make them good ones.
After the show was over, I checked out the show’s website to see just what this new promotion was all about. All I can say is that Jimmy Hart must’ve bought up all the GLOW costumes he could get, because many of the workers tended to look a little too familiar. I’m not entirely sure just what in the blue hell he had in mind when he created this glorified train wreck of a show, but I’ll take a shot in the dark and predict that it’s not going to last very long.
Before you think me overly judgmental, I’m all for giving something brand-new a fair chance. However, when something such as this is such a gross insult to my intelligence, I find it necessary, if not my sacred duty, to say (in the words of the legendary Stone Cold Steve Austin) “OH HELL NO!”
Therefore, as I said at the start, Jimmy Hart — if, by some stroke of cosmic chance you would happen to read this — you, sir, owe me 30 minutes of my life back. Either the 30 minutes, or a night with Brooke Hogan, doesn’t matter.
But you owe me, Jimmy.
You owe me.

Until next time, as always, I am the Reverend Rogue Six, and thus endeth the sermon.

Note From WrestleOhio:We have started a thread on our forum to discuss this topic. You can find it under the Diva section or just click here – Wrestlicious forum