Results – MCW at The MCW Wrestleplex – 4/03/10

The Rev reviews MCW: April Ambush on April 3, 2010 from The MCW Wrestleplex in Alliance, OH.

The show began on a rather somber note, with a tolling of the ring bell in memory of former WCW/WWE wrestler Chris Kanyon, who had been found dead the day before. Kanyon was known first as the masked wrestler Mortis, as well as a partner of Diamond Dallas Page.

Following the moment of silence, Commissioner Justin Diaz and his assistant Dick Jeremy came to the ring, Jeremy carrying the new MCW Elite title belt. Diaz started off by explaining that last time he’d tried to explain about the new title, but had been interrupted by Mike Hercum; he wanted to try again. The Elite Championship was going to be awarded to the winner of the first Elite Elimination match, which would be a 20-man over-the-top battle royal. The last man left in the ring would then be awarded the belt. If any wrestler wanted to enter the match, he’d have to see Dick Jeremy — and they’d have to act fast, because there were only 20 spots. Then Diaz caught himself; “What am I saying? There’s actually 19 spots — because I’m the first entrant!”

Following the Commissioner’s departure, the familiar strains of Motley Crue began to play, heralding the arrival of Nikki Skidz — who seemed to have more bandanas tied on his boots then before.

Then Johnny Cash began to play, and out came Wilbur Whitlock, ready for action.

Nikki had several moments of excellent offense in the early going, even managing to knock Wilbur off a top turnbuckle to the floor, but cockiness began to set in with a lax cover on Wilbur after a DDT, then when Nikki went for a 2nd Russian Leg Sweep, Wilbur countered out of it and hit Skidz with the Whitlock Cutter for the win.

I’m giving this match my “Little Bit Country, Little Bit Rock-n-Roll” Award just for the pairing alone. And Nikki, a piece of advice — cut back on the bandanas. Not only were they slipping off your boots, the look’s been done.

Nick Andrews announced the next seven entrants to the Elite Elimination match — “Killer” Chris Kole, Shane Sensation, Aero, Crew Spence, “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein, Isaac Alter, and Chiyudo Ropa!

“Jesus Loves the Little Children” began to play, and at first I thought Isaac Alter had a match. No, this time it was just MalachI, who apparently wanted to take some time for a brief sermon on Easter. But no one could hear him over the boos and jeers of the crowd, so thanks for coming, Mal. (Well, that was interesting. . .)

Crew Spence came out for the next match, and I’ve got to say, it looks like he keeps getting more tattoos. Then again, he also looks like he’s wrestling in his briefs (but I could be wrong). His opponent for tonight would be none other then Supa Lucha, who received a hero’s welcome as he came to the ring. The match started out with Spence making several attempts at an offense, but Lucha seemed to be 2-3 moves ahead of him every time! Lucha blasted Spence with a flurry of arm drags and dropkicks that left Crew on his back more then (insert your own metaphor here). Lucha then sent Spence out of the ring, but missed with a baseball slide that might have put Crew into the nearest wall, had it connected. Spence, however, began coming back with surprising moves, and even managed to survive Lucha’s flip Rock Bottom off the top rope. He caught Lucha and then set him up for what can be best described as a spinning Gory Special that dropped Lucha on his head and gave Crew Spence the win!

For that finisher, I’m awarding Crew Spence my “Damn, now THAT was impressive” Award.

Nick Andrews had more entrants to announce: Jebediah, Wilbur Whitlock, one of the Rootin’ Tootin’ Buckaroos (not sure which one), Eric Ryan, Nikki Skidz, and someone named Bobby Beverly (???). If you’re scratching your head on that last name, you’re not the only one.

Chiyudo Ropa came out for the next match, and his opponent would be — oh, Ropa got the fuzzy end of the lollipop on this one — Big Hurt, who came to the ring amidst chants of “SELLOUT”. Something told me that this match wasn’t going to be pretty, and as usual, I was right. Chiyudo tried his best to try to get something going, but Hurt’s sheer power was just too much for the masked wonder. Ropa got a few good shots in, especially with a Shining Wizard in the corner, but one inverted suplex later, Hurt got his hand raised, and Chiyudo was trying to remember where he was at and why he was there. . .

Dr. Dale Pierce and Jebediah came out to the ring, and it seemed that the good doctor had something on his mind; with the sounds of the crowd booing him like they had MalachI, well, damn if I could figure out what it was. It was probably something fairly profound, but – oh well. . .

Nick had some more entries to announce: Big Hurt, Luscious Larry Lavender, Otis (Otis??) Mike Hercum, Krazy, and Supa Lucha. And unless my math is fuzzy, that made the twenty.

Next out to the ring came the surliest-looking man on the MCW roster, Mike Hercum, who took it upon himself to shred a fan’s “Jobber of the Year” sign after reading it. Yeah, that’s the way to get the crowd with you, boyo. His opponent would be none other then Amityville’s favorite son, Krazy, who clearly had the crowd with him. As Krazy got in the ring, Hercum bailed out, earning himself a chant of “PUSSY”. (Sorry about that, Mike, but the crowd calls ’em as they see ’em)

Krazy led most of the match, which went out of the ring for several moments after a suicide dive from Krazy onto Hercum, and Krazy even nailed Mike with a missile dropkick that took him halfway across the ring. But it’s always that one mistake that can cost you, and for Krazy, it came when Hercum dodged a second missile dropkick; this was enough of an opening for him to slap on the sharpshooter — and Krazy finally tapped out.

I may be off here, but I’m giving this match my “MATCH OF THE NIGHT” Award. It was that good.

The next match was announced as a non-title match, so I had a fairly good idea of who one participant was. . .and when “Taking Care of Business” started to play, I knew who the challenger would be. Luscious Larry Lavender came out to the ring singing, and this time was rocking a gold and purple Elvis-style cape.

Next came the MCW Heavyweight Champion, Christian “Captain Hair” Vaughn, with his entourage of Minka Murder and Big Hurt in tow.

[I need to take a moment for an aside; I recently had a long chat with my father, Ol’ Rogue Five, and he had a confession to make -- some years ago, in his travels, he had an inadvertent fling one night with a peacock, but never knew if anything had come of it. So there’s a slight chance, by the way of his hair, that Christian Vaughn and I may just be *gasp* half-brothers! More to come on this. . .]

The crowd was ready for the trio, as chants of “VAUGHN’S A FAGGOT” alternated with “SHE’S GOT HERPES”.

Larry started off by going for the most obvious target — the hair. After getting it mussed up, Vaughn bailed out of the ring like a scalded cat and told Nick Andrews that he wouldn’t wrestle until his hair was properly fixed.

Oh. My. Lord. And this is the MCW Heavyweight Champion?

But I digress.

Larry went for the hair a few more times, sending Vaughn out of the ring. As a ten-count began, Larry stopped it, and took the mic (here I paraphrase): “Now I know what got Big Hurt to sell out the way he did. . .if you can see, Minka’s wearing a brace on one hand. . .looks like she’s been giving someone a little extra action — if you know what I mean.” Oh yeah, Larry, we got the message.

The Luscious One surprised me by the attacks he waged on Vaughn, especially the Randy Savage-style top-rope double ax-handle smash he gave Vaughn, but as always, when you wrestle the champ, it’s a 3-on-1 handicap; Minka and Hurt managed to interject themselves at key moments. (While this all went on, a brand new chant started that got under Minka’s skin: “CRABS JUMP SIX FEET”.)

Despite a valiant effort, Luscious Larry ended up getting pinned by Vaughn, and suffered a highly-unnecessary post-match assault by Vaughn and his loyal minion.

This brought Commissioner Diaz out to the ring, who said to the champ: “I hope you’re glad you didn’t have to defend the title tonight. . .because I wanted you to have a little warmup for the next show — where you’ve got a very special title defense coming up. . .and I think you know who it’ll be with. . .in fact, there he is!” The trio quickly looked behind them, and Diaz laughed as he said (amidst a hearty round of “VAUGHN’S A PUSSY”) “In two weeks, it’ll be — for the MCW Heavyweight Championship — Christian Vaughn versus Brain Damage!” Let’s just say that Vaughn didn’t take the news all that well. (Champ — were I you, I’d check my life insurance and make my peace with God. . .just in case.)

Dr. Dale Pierce and Jebediah came out for the main event, and Jebediah’s opponent for the evening was none other then “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein. Toby got in the ring and immediately chased everyone — including the referee, who got a noogie – and then started chewing on the top rope. (I’ve heard of pre-match snacks, but. . .) The match began evenly, neither gaining an advantage for long; when Jebediah drove Toby’s head into the top turnbuckle, he stopped, gave Jebediah an “are you serious” look, then proceeded to drive his own head into the same buckle!
The match continued on, where it spilled out into the crowd. At this point, the doctor interjected (or is that injected?) himself and his favorite goat’s-foot cane into the mix by choking Toby with it. The fight went back into the ring and then out again, where Toby drove both Dr. Dale and Jebediah’s skulls together. At one point, Toby went up top, but Dr. Dale nailed Toby in the ribs — this gave Jebediah the opening to hit the Haybaler and pin Toby for the win.

What a way to bring in Easter. . .

The stage is now set for the crowning of a new champion – and might we see the dethroning of another one?

Until next time, I’m the Reverend Rogue Six, and I’ll see you at ringside!

NOTE: This review is dedicated to the memory of my personal mentor, a man who was instrumental in my life and helped me to find the Rogue within and release him. The Old Warhorse passed away on St. Patrick’s Day, and my life’s a little emptier now without my old friend. Chief, this is for you.