Results – MCW: Holiday Hangover II – 2/20/10

Greetings, one and all! I’m the Reverend Rogue Six, and this is your Holiday Hangover wrap up. . .

There was an excellent crowd at the Wrestleplex for the show, especially with the letup in the snow and with the Main Event being for the new MCW Heavyweight Championship.

Nick Andrews came out to get the crowd psyched before the show began, reminding everyone that this show was going to be recorded for a DVD; what surprised me was when three other sections of the crowd outperformed the Riot Zone on the first go-around. . .

Nick got out of the ring, and out came MCW’s ring announcer, the ever-lovely Sassy Sarah — who, may I add on a personal note, reinforces my belief in a benevolent God; you don’t get beauty like hers by random chance — to get things started.

Mike Hercum, who came out to the ring with a full mad-on for someone, took on Big Hurt in the opening match. Hurt dominated most of the contest, taking shots from Hercum that seemed to have no effect on him.

If Mike had wrestled as much as he’d spent time arguing with the referee over near-pinfalls and other calls, perhaps his offense would have been better then it was.

However, Hercum managed to get a few good shots in on Big Hurt, mainly stomps, kicks, and chops. He even tried going up on a turnbuckle, but ended up crotched on it for his efforts (man, no matter how many times I see that happen, I cringe). This allowed Big Hurt the opening to catch Hercum and hit a superplex that sounded like a bomb going off when they landed — but it was only worth a 2-count. Even a powerful clothesline and spine buster got the same count for Hurt.

And then it happened: Hurts temper got the better of him as he trapped Hercum in the corner and worked him over with his fists, disregarding the refs 5-count — and earning himself a DQ. Big Hurt and the ref argued outside the ring over the decision, while Mike laid in the ring, resembling something like road kill for several moments until he asked for the house mic: (The following is paraphrased) As much as you hate me, the Riot Zone has the right idea — they shut up when Im talking! Every time I come out here, I put my body on the line, but once again, Im being over-looked! I broke Luchas back the last time I wrestled, and now Im curtain-jerking? Diaz, you’re the Commissioner, get your ass out here now!

Diaz came out to the ring, looking none too pleased with Hercums tirade. Before he could reach the ring, Mike stopped him and told him not to talk. You’ve been bitching too much about your injured neck and back, saying that this is why you cant wrestle right now. . .maybe I need to come out there and just beat your ass. . .

Diaz replied, Yeah, you’re right, I’m injured, but Ill tell you what Ill do — on March 6th, against my doctors orders, Ill face you in the ring. . .and if by some stroke of luck, you manage to beat me, if you should win, you’ll get the title you deserve — but you’re not going to win; after all, Ive beaten you before, what else have you got? Oh, by the way, Diaz added before he returned to the back, Be sure to take out your tampon out before the 6th. . .

Ive got to question Diaz’s wisdom in setting up this match; sure, he wants to show that hes tough and all — but with a broken back and neck? Is shutting Hercum up worth further injury — maybe even career-ending? I don’t know, but I guess well find out soon.

Krazy came out to start the next match, soon followed by a newcomer by the name of Cruz Spencer.

Then more music hit — and out came Supa Lucha! Okay, seems we were going to have a Cruiserweight 3-Way Dance. . .

And then, with the twisted version of Jesus Loves the Little Children, out came the Unholy Acolyte Isaac Alter, with Malach and Mary in tow.

A Cruiserweight 4-Way Dance? Evidently so, as Sarah announced.

When the bell rang, Krazy and Cruz went at it, as did Lucha and Alter. Partners were switched, and Cruz and Isaac went at it outside the ring — until Krazy dove through the ropes and took them down! In a move I didn’t expect, Lucha got the referee to whip him into the ropes, giving him enough momentum to execute a dive of his own and take down all three of them!

After this, things got fast and furious from here (I couldn’t record it all, but here’s a few key points): Issac got Malachi to hold Cruz, who managed to duck just in time to let Isaac level Malachi (Ive heard of laying on of hands, but I dont think that was quite it), Krazy and Supa Lucha went to war on the opposite side of the ring, and Isaac even got back in the ring with Cruz to level him with a very well-done Acid Drop (shades of Spike Dudley). Krazy and Cruz were down, and this let Lucha hit Isaac with a Burrito Driver for the three-count.

Just as Sarah announced Lucha as the winner, out came Dick Jeremy (not in drag, thank you God)with a message from Commissioner Diaz: At the 10th Anniversary Show on March 6th, there was going to be a Cruiserweight Gauntlet match, featuring the 4 cruiserweights in the ring — along with the returns of Aero and Eric Ryan! This would be a match that was definitely going to be needing an air traffic control tower. . .

Jebediah came out to the ring next, leading his advisor, Dr. Dale Pierce — who was sporting a bathrobe, towel around his neck, and green boots. Now, I was under the idea that Jebediah had been banned from the ring for this match — and Nick reminded everyone of that very fact. Jebediah refused to leave, regardless of Nicks pronouncements.

Dr. Dale removed his robe to reveal he was wearing an ensemble that looked right out of the late Andy Kaufmans closet: white long johns, white t-shirt over a thermal long-sleeved shirt, and black trunks over the long johns (good lord. . .and if youre not getting the reference, go to Wikipedia and look up Andy Kaufman, okay?).

While this was going on, out came Wilbur Whitlock, who was not all that thrilled with seeing Jebediah.

Nick then announced that the match wasnt going to start until Jebediah left the ring. He got out of the ring and was half-way to the back — and then turned around, rushed the ring, and attacked Wilbur. It took the entire security staff and 2 refs to get him back there. (The fight must have continued in the locker room area, because a panel of the wall actually popped out from what I was told later was a security member being thrown into it.)

Meanwhile, the bell finally rang, and Dr. Dale managed to take control early on, choking Wilbur constantly, and hitting him constantly with thumb shots to the throat and gouges in the eyes. When he turned to gloat to the crowd, he turned back — and took a Whitlock spear that sent him into the corner! Wilbur then followed up with a series of shots to the Doctors skull that should have put him down — but no matter how many times he got hit, he simply wouldnt go down!

Out from the back, goat-foot cane in hand, came Jebediah running at full-tilt. Wilbur noticed this, and went after Jebediah, only to get a low blow from Dr. Dale in return. Jebediah then proceeded to work over Wilbur with stomps and shots from the cane — then out came a visibly P.Od Commissioner Diaz just as Jebediah was climbing the turnbuckles: Touch him again, and Ill fire you both! Since you seem to like using canes so much, on March 6th, Im going to put canes all around the ring, and itll be Wilbur Whitlock versus Jebediah — Singapore Cane match!

(It was never announced, but Im figuring this was a DQ win for Wilbur. . .)

Sweet Molly Malone — the return of Justin Diaz, a 6-man Cruiserweight Gauntlet, and now the announcement of a Singapore Cane match for March 6th? We were only halfway through the show — what was coming next?

Nick Andrews came back out to the ring, along with Sarah; apparently there were a few announcements to make:

1. MCWs new website — mcwpro.com — was up and running;
2. The Wrestleplex would be looking different in just two weeks, and would be improving over the course of time;
3. The 10th anniversary show would be on March 6th — 10 years weve been doing this? Who knew?

Out came Killer Chris Kole and Shane Sensation — Killer Sensation — to the ring. Kole got in Sarahs face, took the mic and dismissed her, then proceeded to inform the crowd as to how he and Shane Sensation were the greatest team in tag team history, then went off on a rant about how they beat legendary tag teams like the Rock-n-Roll Express, Anderson & Blanchard, and how they won the Crockett Cup; sorry guys, but Ive heard this kind of b.s before — it was lame-sounding then and lame-sounding now. Just saying. Kole then added that they could send anyone out, well just lay the beat-down on em.

Neil Diamonds Cracklin Rosie began to play, and out came one of the most unlikely tag teams since Goldust and Booker T came together: Luscious Larry Lavender (singing with the music) and Chiodo Ropa. They were looking for revenge from the attacks they suffered from Killer Sensation at the last show, and I must give them credit — they managed to get a measure of payback, which told me that Killer Sensation made one slight error; they underestimated their opponents and thought theyd have an easy match. Kole and Shane cut Larry off from Ropa for several minutes in the match — which is a sound strategy, cant fault them for it. But the LLL/Ropa team was able to give as good as they got, even catching their opponents with a Rock Bottom (LLL) and a White Crane Kick (Ropa). Sad to say, this wasnt enough; they got LLL out of the ring and executed a modified 3-D on Ropa for the pinfall. But this wasnt enough for the two of them; they proceeded to work over both men after the bell — until new music hit. . .and out came Brain Damage to the ring! He set up Shane for a package piledriver, but he got out of it and bailed out with Kole. Damage was ready for action, but then the familiar strains of Stranglehold began, heralding the arrival of The Man Himself, Shasta — who asked for the house mic. You boys are probably surprised to see me. . . and from the cheers of the crowd, they were, too.

Ive been listening to the two of you running your mouths about how youre the greatest tag team in the world. . . Well, Ive got two words for that: Bull. Shit! . . . I dont know if you remember a little match we all had at the Canton Civic Center — oh wait, thats right, you dont remember too much of it, because thats where I picked up Shane and Shasta Drived him from fifteen feet on a ladder through two tables, and Brain Damage was dropping a meat hook on [Kole] from the rafters!

Ive got a surprise for the two of you. . .now, you may be wondering just why Shastas out here? Hes supposed to be suspended from all MCW wrestling matches. . .and youre right, I am suspended!

Thats why, on March 6th, its going to be me and this man, Brain Damage, versus Killer Sensation — in a non-sanctioned match! And since I want everyone here to be involved in this match, its going to be a. . .FANS. . .BRING. . .THE. . . WEAPONS match!

When the chant of FANS BRING THE WEAPONS started up, I had a pretty good idea that the crowd liked this idea. Killer Sensation, however — not so much.

Kole took another mic and replied, Hey, well take it — after all, its your funeral!

Shasta replied (as the chant began again), You can call Red Cross in two weeks — because your asses are going to be donating a LOT of blood. Something tells me that in two weeks, the Red Cross could easily meet their quota for Match in one night. . .

Once things calmed down, Jessicka Havok came out to the ring, and once more she seemed to have her reoccurring problem: no opponent to wrestle. And here I am, all geared up and nothing to do.

New music hit — and out came Angel Dust! Jessicka introduced her to the crowd as an old friend, whod evidently come to help her out. The two shook hands, and went at it. From the start, there was a slight mismatch problem — if you dont know Angel Dust, shes about a head and a half or so shorter then Jessicka (think of a blonde version of Rey Mysterio for comparison). I was, I must admit, quite curious as to how this would work out. Jessicka took control early, but Angel was no slouch, utilizing more of a speed/hit-n-run plan which, for the most part, worked until she tried an aerial move — and got caught by Jessicka, who dropped her with a side slam and then set her in a camel clutch for a few moments. The size difference came into play again when Angel went for a crucifix pin, only to have Jessicka reverse it into a Samoan drop. Angel had several more moments of good offense, but Jessicka hit what Id called a wheelbarrow face buster to roll Angel up for the 1-2-3. After the bell, she raised Angels hand in an excellent sign of respect, then hugged her again.

After all of this, it was time for the Main Event of the night: a Falls Count Anywhere/Anything Goes/No Time Limit match for the new MCW Heavyweight Championship.

Christian Vaughn (with Minka Murder at his side) came out to the ring, armed with his red chair and violence on his mind, from the look on his face. Next came Mr. Insanity Toby Klein, who clearly had the crowd with him. Christian tried to stare a hole through Toby, but to no real effect.

Nick Andrews gave a warning to the crowd: If you have MCW wrestlers coming towards you, get the f–k out of the way! Sound advice.

As a SHES GOT HERPES chant started for Minka, the bell rang, and the battle began. Mr. Insanity went on the attack early, working Vaughn over. The fight soon spilled outside the ring, and Toby even got the crowd involved, getting people to hold Vaughns arms while he chopped him several times (I had no idea this would be an audience participation match — thats MCW for you; you never know whats going to happen!)

Christian came back, despite being busted open by Tobys fists, and dished out kicks, an elbow to the head, a knee to the groin, a fist drop to the head, a swinging neck breaker, a chair shot or two to the ribs, stomps, and even a body slam outside the ring on the coffin thats always been ringside (so THATs what it was for — who knew?)

Back in the ring, Christian set two chairs together in a corner, draped a semi-conscious Mr. Insanity on them, and ascended the turnbuckle. Just as he went for a senton splash, Toby moved — and Vaughn hit nothing but steel!

Then a few moments later, Toby picked up Christian and hit what Im calling the Move of the Night — a flying Death Valley Driver off the ring apron and onto the coffin!

And wouldnt you know it — that sucker didnt break!

Toby even picked up the coffin and dropped it on him!

Big Hurt came to the ring and grabbed the chair Christian was about to use on Toby, threatening to hit Vaughn with it himself — but then HOLY DOUBLE CROSS, BATMAN! Hurt blasted Toby with it! Vaughn only got a 2-count out of it, but the damage was done; Christian was able to roll Mr. Insanity up for the three-count, and MCW had a new champion: The Natural Christian Vaughn.

As Minka took off her neck brace and the celebration began, out came Commissioner Diaz.

Congratulations, Christian, on your win. . .and Big Hurt, you made a big mistake. . .Christian, since youre so happy, Id thought Id let you know your first match is going to be on March 6th — and youll be facing none other then Nigel McGuiness; hes known now in TNA as Desmond Wolf — and oh yeah, it will be for the MCW Heavyweight title!

Man, talk about killing a moment. . .but like they say, as soon as you win a belt, you also win a target on your back. Good luck, Christian. . .hope the path you took was worth it.

Tonight, we had the appetizer.

March 6th, we get the main course. . .

Until next time, Im the Reverend Rogue Six, and Ill see you ringside!